The Ideas of Marriage
by bookstolivewith
Summary: Sometimes James Potter mixed with marriage. Sometimes, he didn't. Lily POV.
1. Prologue

The first time James Potter mentioned marriage to me, Lily Evans, he was completely drunk. Smashed. Pissed. All that and more.

The second time James Potter mentioned marriage to me, Lily Evans, he let it slip. Flap of the tongue. Embarrassed. I covered for him.

The third time James Potter mentioned marriage to me, Lily Evans, he was hung-over. Roaring headache. Eyes blurring.

The final time James Potter mentioned marriage to me, Lily Evans, he was completely and totally sincere and wonderful.

This is the story of why James Potter and marriage mix. And also, why those two factors don't.


	2. Chapter 1

I was sitting on the second to last stair of the boys dormitory staircase; it gave me a decent view of the room without requiring me to be amassed in the chaos that is the after-party of winning the Quidditch Cup. I suppose since I was 6th year, I should have been celebrating - but no there I was: sad little Lily, with a butterbeer instead of a Firewhiskey, being the standard brown-nosing prefect. Sometimes I really hated myself, you know?

So, there I was, watching the proceedings from the shadows, ready to intervene if necessary, when James Potter walked over to me. He towered over me normally but compared to when I was sitting, he seemed like a giant. As he tottered slightly to the left, I realized he was a drunk giant.

Potter let a slow smirk cross his face as he steadied himself. "'Lo, Evans".

"Hello, Potter."

"Watcha doin?"

"Being a prefect. Have you been drinking?"

Potter considered the question for a moment before smiling and saying "Yep", popping the "p" sound grossly. I snorted. Potter laughed and sat down next to me; he was practically in my lap, so I scooted over toward the railing. Potter leaned back against the wall and appraised me with unfocused eyes.

"Why are you not celebrating, Miss Evans?" asked Potter pompously. I sniggered at him, silently applauding his ability to form complete sentences while being smashed. "Well?"

"Like I said, I'm being a prefect."

"You know what you need? FIREWHISKEY." I winced when Potter shouted.

"Volume, Potter…"

"Oh. Sorry."

"S'alright". We elapsed into silence, watching the raging party. I shook my head impatiently and made to look at my watch - _it had to be past one in the morning, honestly_ - when I was stopped by a hand on my arm. I looked up and found Potter's face entirely too close to mine.

I leaned back, trying not to notice my accelerating heart, telling myself I was just frightened by Potter's proximity. He leaned over towards me, hands outstretched, until his fingers curled into my hair.

"Your head looks like it's on fire," Potter told me. I scowled. "I like it," he assured me. I just scowled again. Suddenly, I was quite over Potter's drunk antics.

However, he was quite unaware of my sudden disdain for him and was continuing to blather on.

"One day, you and I are going to be married… with loads of kids…whose head's will all look like they are on fire… and my talents…and I'll like them all… even if they're in Slytherin - no, wait, not then. But you know what I'll like best?" Potter looked at me.

I stared at him, utterly bemused by this turn of events; my irritation seemed to have subsided for the time being. Sometimes, when he was absolutely piss-shit drunk, Potter could be sweet. "What?" I asked, choosing to play along.

"Being married. To you" he said, letting a slow smile cross his face. It was a bit like sunshine, helped along by the copious amounts of alcohol Potter had consumed. I felt a rush of heat to my face, even as I tried to fight it.

"That's n-nice" I stammered. _Bloody hell. I wasn't even the drunk one. _

"Yep" Potter said again before letting his eyes drift close. I breathed in relief; he wasn't going to push it tonight. _Thank Merlin. _

"Bed, Potter" I ordered, standing up and surveying the emptying common room. I wasn't looking forward to telling Sirius Black to stop partying but it had to be done; however, first I needed my drunk companion to go to bed.

Potter cracked an eye open. "Yours or mine?"

I smacked his arm in response and pointed up the boy's staircase. Without moving my eyes off Potter, I called "Oi! Everyone! Even you, Black! Get to bed!"

I heard the masses in the common room, clear out; the boys slipping past James without comment. Black came up behind me, surveying the scene between Potter and I and to my surprise, nodded.

"We'll clean the place in the morning" he told me, waving his arms toward the common room, before pushing past Potter, and climbing the stairs until he was out of sight.

I let my mouth hang open a bit before the slamming of a dormitory door pulled me out of my stupor. _Don't panic, Lily. It's just Black offering to take responsibility for something… don't panic. _Potter was still standing in front of me; his look made me flush for some reason.

"Go. To. Bed" I enunciated, grabbing his arm and pushing him up the staircase. Potter smiled and walked up the stairs without a backward glance. He was too drunk for his own good. _Didn't even care that I was practically forcing him to go to bed after his big Quidditch win. _

As I stood in the common room, surveying the damage, before the slam of a door, I heard Potter's voice. "When we're married, we're going to have to share a bed, you know."

And I couldn't help but to stand in the common room, laughing and gasping for air, before heading up to my own bedroom, resolving to ignore whatever the hell was going on with my stomach.

Felt like butterflies. I didn't like it one bit.


	3. Chapter 2

The roaring fire in the Head's common room was comforting. I wrapped my arms around myself and snuggled into the couch cushions, relishing the extra warmth. Hogwarts could be so drafty during the winter months, despite the warming charms put on the castle.

I turned my head to observe the downpour of rain that was pounding on the window; I couldn't help shaking my head, giggling quietly. _Poor James…well, he wanted to play Quidditch. I don't have to feel guilty because I'm all toasty and he's freezing his arse off. _

I watched the fire turn and flicker and pop, vaguely aware of the homework I should be doing, the patrols that needed ordering and contemplating my new-found boyfriend. I was still laughing at James when I fell asleep.

"Lily…Lils," I heard a voice call. It was far-off and dreamlike. I murmured something in response - _something nonsensical, I'm sure_ - and I heard the voice laugh. Something warm brushed my head and I felt the couch sag with additional weight. Slowly, I opened my eyes, blinking a few times; then I rolled onto my side, so that I staring up at James.

He smiled down at me, the smile of someone in blissful love - he wasn't wearing his robes. He had changed into jeans and a jumper; he looked handsome as always and I suddenly felt inadequate.

"Hello, love," he whispered to me.

"'Lo, James. How was Quidditch?" I asked, as I propped my head on his shoulder. Our fingers intertwined, as one of his arms stretched across my shoulders and we both relaxed into the cushions.

"Fine. Rainy. I bet you laughed at me, didn't you?"

"Course I did. You don't have to play Quidditch. Especially when it's pouring outside."

"Course I do, Lils. You know that." James's voice was scoffing as he told me this information, as if I was silly for suggesting anything contrary to Quidditch in the first place. I just smiled into his chest, practically purring as his hand ran through my red curls. _How had I ignored this boy, no, this man for so long? _

We sat quietly, just enjoying each other's presence. What with our Head's schedules and N.E.W.T classes and Quidditch practice and making time for our respective friends, we didn't see each other as often as we liked.

James was peppering the crown of my head with kisses now, which I rather adored. He was the first to break the silence. "I could do this the rest of my life, you know."

"What?"

"Sitting with you."

"Wouldn't it get awful boring, James? I know you, James Potter, - you'd get bored fast."

James sounded affronted. "What are you suggesting, Lily?"

"Just that sitting around all day with only me for company - you'd get bored."

James shifted beneath my head - I could tell he was preparing for a fight. I felt the rumble in his chest as he uttered the next words.

"What do you think we're going to do when we're married?"

I breathed in sharply and I felt James go stiff as a board as we realized what he'd said; words uttered in the heat of a battle, the avant-battle showdown, which as of late ended up with us snogging. I sat up and turned to look James in the eye.

His face was desperate and sad and a little hopeful, like he couldn't help it. I could feel him thinking overtime - he was worried he had scared me off after finally managing to get me to say yes. Well, a month of dating is a little soon to be proposing but honestly… this was James Potter.

If I was being honest, I felt like saying yes. _YES, bloody hell, yes - let's get married right now!_ I was so scared he wouldn't want me; I was a Muggle-born, putting him and our friends in danger. His words were exactly what I needed to hear.

"Lils, I'm sorry…that was… Merlin, I'm sorry," James's face had turned red - _which was amusing, considering I was generally the one blushing_ - and he was watching me warily, waiting for what he figured was the inevitable explosion. For once though, James had read me wrong - I wasn't angry… I was relieved.

I kissed him soundly on the lips…chaste and sweet but with feeling, so that even James couldn't misread what I was trying to convey.

"Why don't you try focusing on something a little more pressing?" I offered, making James chuckle. "Like homework or patrol schedules? We can figure out what we're going to be doing when we're married later."

James's eyes widened a bit at my last statement and a blissful smile sprang onto his face; the smile that made my knees weak and butterflies show up _again_ and make me the horrendously girly person I sworn to never be.

"Alright then, we can do that," he said, before kissing me with passion I had yet to experience from James Potter. Made me wonder what else I was missing out on.

"Hand me that," James ordered and I complied, handing him the schedules before curling up on the couch and learning against him once again. James tucked his hand near my waist, brushing tenderly but still causing shivers to run up my spine.

"Now what's giving you trouble?"

"Well, Hufflepuff prefects are having a bit of a row, so I was wondering if we could pair them with Ravenclaw… cause we can't pair them with Slytherin…"

And that was how we spent the rest of our Saturday evening - talking about patrols and laughing and cuddled up together in front of a fire on a couch. And I was completely relieved and secure and happy with the knowledge that someday James Potter wanted me to take his last name.


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N:** I am beyond sorry for the time between updates but my life got quite hectic out of nowhere. Hopefully, people still want to read my story. Apologies for the length. Also, Chapter 34 of TLAT. **CHAPTER 34.** OH MY MERLIN.

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><p>I was sitting at the kitchen counter, tapping my foot ideal on the barstool, waiting for the water to boil so I could make tea. As I did so, my eyes wandered over to my boyfriend. He had fallen asleep on the couch in the sitting room; I'd heard him stumble into the house about two in the morning, obviously drunk. I waited for him to come to bed but obviously, James had crashed on (more like, onto) the couch. He was sprawled out at an awkward angle that didn't look the least bit comfortable.<p>

In the past, I would have been furiously angry at James; however, the times called for different allowances. He'd been with the Order all weekend, on a mission and that in itself excused the drinking and the coming home late – he had probably had a few pints with Sirius to rid the horrors of said mission from his mind. I understood and was partial to a few Firewhiskey's myself, although generally inside the privacy of my own home.

I heard the kettle whistle and dashed across the kitchen in the hopes that the noise wouldn't wake James. I glanced over my shoulder and saw a mop of untidy hair pop up from the couch. _Damn. No such luck._

"Lily?" called James, his voice husky. I heard him wince at the sound of his voice. _He's got a hangover._

"Good morning, James" I called back, lowering my tone due to his aforementioned hangover. "How are you?" I added the tea leaves.

"Hung-over" came James's muffled reply. I laughed quietly and told him that tea would be ready in a minute. I heard James remove himself from the couch and pad into the kitchen. He stopped briefly to wrap his arm around my waist, kiss my temple, and glare at the kettle that had woken him before he moved to sit at the counter.

There was silence while I finished the tea and poured James a steaming mug. I crossed the kitchen and handed it to him; his eyes locked with mine and I saw him wince. A bit taken aback by this reaction, I asked if everything was alright.

"Fine, Lils. Just…stuff. Last night was... it was, well, you know?" I nodded – the Order was certainly not a walk in the park; not the glory we'd all imagined - but noticed he _still_ didn't meet my eyes. Hurriedly, James took a drink of tea and said "Good tea."

I narrowed my eyes at him and watched as he tried not to choke on the boiling hot tea. He smiled sheepishly at me, his eyes flickering between mine and the mug of tea.

"James, would you please just tell me? I know you…something's wrong."

One hand fisted in his hair and the other shot to massage his left temple. "Lils, I just… you don't want to know. Trust me. And I don't want to do this."

My heart thudded loudly in my chest. "Do what, James?"

James's shoulders slumped, defeated and he leaned back in his chair. "You sure you want to hear?"

I nodded. _Obviously, James, you great prat._

He sucked in a large breath, and then exhaled loudly. "Okay, well, last night, after the mission, I went out with the boys. To the pub – to have a few drinks, which I guess turned into a lot of drinks. A celebration of life, after the mission, you know."

"Of course. I expected as much." I told him and he licked his lips before starting again.

"Well, we'd all had a few too many drinks and Sirius and those Prewett brothers were making bets and such. I wanted in, of course because… I'm James and an idiot." I smiled benignly at this but didn't interrupt. "Anyway, I made a bet. And it's got me a bit worried because I don't really want to lose."

James finished with a look of disgust. I giggled, which caused him to look at me.

"What was the bet?" I asked. James shook his head and told me that was the part he didn't really want to tell me. I snorted.

"Tell me or I'll withhold sex" I told him, grinning. James's eyes narrowed and his face flushed with his defeat – I held the trump card and we both knew it. He stuck his tongue out at me, slid off the barstool and made his way up the stairs.

"I'll be back in a few seconds, Lils. Then you'll figure out the bet. Probably withhold the sex anyway, to be honest" he called back to me, as his feet made the stairs creak. _We need to fix those – although, if someone intrudes… they might come in handy, those creaks. _

I sat at the counter, waiting for James to return, idly twirling a strand of my hair.

When he did reenter the kitchen, he came to stand in front of me and made full on eye-contact with me. Without dropping eye-contact, which made me shiver from its intensity, he dropped to one knee. I dropped my mouth and my hand shot up to cover it. His hand revealed a small box, the lid already opened.

"Lily Evans, will you marry me?"

Several things washed over me at once: 1. James was PROPOSING. 2. He was doing this for a bet. He'd bet something on a proposal. 3. The ring was absolutely gorgeous. 4. _WHAT?_

James was eyeing me cautiously, as if waiting for me to explode, which I sort of promptly…did. Not because I was mad or angry or sad or happy but rather in spite of these emotions… I couldn't sort them and it confused me and so I screamed.

"JAMES POTTER, YOU BET ON A PROPOSAL. YOU ARE PROPOSING TO ME BECAUSE YOU BET THAT YOU HAD TO! HOW MUCH OF A BLOODY PRAT CAN ONE PERSON BE? I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU! HOW ON EARTH CAN I SAY YES UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES? OH MY MERLIN, I WILL ABSOLUTLEY KILL YOU IF YOU RETURN THAT RING…AND SIRIUS WAS IN ON THIS – WHERE IS HE? HE DESERVES THIS WRATH AS MUCH AS YOU DO, JAMES POTTER!"

Somewhere in the middle of the tirade, I had risen from my seat and was now standing over James, who was still on one knee in front of me, hands clutching his head, which was most likely throbbing from my screaming and his hangover. I could feel my chest heaving and I knew I was flushed and my hair was crackling, probably frizzing even after all the time I'd spent getting it to lie somewhat flat. James was looking at me as if I were some sort of crazed banshee. When I had calmed enough – thoughts still swirling – to sit, I said, "James?"

He whimpered a bit in response. "What was the actual bet? Word for word… because I'd really hate to hurt you and Sirius, if this is all just a misunderstanding…"

James swallowed, rubbed his eyes and rose from his knee. Head hanging, like a shamed child, he spoke. "Well, Sirius said I was taking too bloody long to propose and that I needed to get on it or you'd go away. And I said, nope, I could propose whenever I wanted to but the right opportunity had never come up. It kind of…escalated from there and basically, I had to propose to you tomorrow – which is today – or do Sirius's laundry for the rest of his life. And clean his house."

My mind raced to keep up with this information. _Did that mean…"too bloody long to propose"… "needed to get on it"… how long had James had that ring?_

"How long have you had the ring?" I asked him and James mumbled something to the effect of –"eight months ago."

I took a deep calming breath and sorted through my convoluted feelings. Was I mad that I was being proposed to as a bet? No, because James had been meaning to do this for years. And that was that because… I wanted to say yes to James Potter. _Mrs. James Potter. Lily Potter. Lily Evans-Potter. No, no hyphens. Just Lily Potter. _

I snapped out of _that_ stupor and cradled James's face in my hands, watching his eyes carefully. "I don't know whether I should slap you or not… because I feel like I should but I don't think I'm going to. But, YES! MERLIN, YES!

James stumbled back at my sudden outburst, which sent my cheeks flaming. _Perhaps he hadn't really wanted to propose…but no, look at him. _

James's mouth was open, his temple throbbing from his headache and he was glowing. Glowing, like a little kid given a key to a candy shop. "Really, Lils? You'll marry me?"

I nodded sheepishly and bit my lip. I was going to marry James Potter, of course I was. _Knew that from the moment I started bloody dating him, didn't I?_

"I couldn't have you doing Sirius's chores when you could be doing mine, can I?" I said cheekily.

And suddenly, I was being attacked by James Potter – I was twirled and kissed and touched and we knocked over a cup of now cold tea with our excitement but we just didn't care. Because we were young and in love… and we were going to get married.

Merlin's Pants, I needed a dress.


	5. Chapter 4

The pale moonlight streamed into our bedroom, making patterns on the blue bedspread. I spread my fingers out, looking at them as if they didn't quite belong to me. I was tired but couldn't sleep and my mind raced with the sudden change of pace. Everything had felt rushed up to this point and now… now, everything was just too still. _Merlin, I'm getting married tomorrow._ It was both a terrifying and exciting prospect.

As my impending marriage occurred to me for the hundredth time in the last hour, my sloth of a fiancée rolled over and flung his arm over my waist, pulling me closer to his warm body. He nestled his head into the crook of my neck and I instinctively entwined my legs with his. James' breath tickled my neck and I giggled nervously.

I lay in silence for a few minutes more, watching James' hair move up and down with the pace of his breathing; I hated the stillness because it let my mind wander – it let my mind doubt, worry and convince myself that James was going to leave me at the altar. _He could do better, he could, you know. And you aren't safe – Muggleborns are dangerous right now. Merlin, why would he ever want to marry you?_

My thoughts became too much for me at that point and I stifled a sob, tears pricking my eyes as the uncertainty weighed on me; turning onto my side, I poked James in the chest. He mumbled "Qudditch, love… I'll take three ducks" and I poked harder. I needed him to wake up and tell me… anything, something to erase my thoughts.

James' eyes blinked open sleepily, looking so different (but good) without his glasses perched on his nose. "Lily? Bloody hell, Lils, it's got to be two in the morning…" he said, eyes searching my face. "What's wrong?"

I hated and loved the way he could read me in an instant. I opened and closed my mouth, willing my tears to remain in my eyes, not able to find the sufficient words to explain my emotions. Finally, I blurted, "We're getting married."

James propped himself on his elbow and looked down at me, before chuckling and confirming my statement with a nod. I closed my eyes briefly and pressed on, "Why?"

His brow wrinkled before he said, "Because I love you. And you love me. Because we want to. Because I want to – don't you?"

I nodded and conceded that point – yes, I wanted to marry him. James simplified the concept of why for me; everything was simple to James in that sense - I wanted, no, I needed elaboration. "Why do you love me?" I hated how pathetic I sounded and that immediately shot to the Pro-list for James dumping me.

James lay back down and allowed me to curl into his side; he stroked my hair soothingly and said "Lils, you're being ridiculous. I've told you why I love you. A million times." I nodded into his chest.

"Just… how do I know you'll show up at the altar?"

"Lils, of the two of us, am I the one who'd get the cold feet?"

I shook my head, my cheeks flushing, and heard him chuckle.

"James, could you just reassure me? I can't stop thinking and worrying… it was too still. It's horrid… and I'm sorry but could you please tell me why on earth you are marrying me? Because I'm not anything special really…"

I felt James stiffen beneath me and his hand stopped moving across my back. "Lily Evans, that's why I'm marrying you. Because you are special – you are smart, beautiful, brave, strong and sexy. I'm marrying you because you argue with me every day and you fought my charm for nearly six years. I'm marrying you because you gave me a chance. I'm marrying you because you love my hair, my height and my stupid glasses. I'm marrying you because you can duel and you beat me in NEWT Charms. I'm marrying you for your red-hair and green eyes. I'm marrying you because you're the best shag ever. I have more reasons but the most important is that… I am marrying you because I love you."

I gasped. _He did love me. _So, I cried and apologized, sniffling into his chest and telling him I believe him. I told him I loved him and I was marrying him because I wanted to – so, so much. James let me get it all out before he laughed and told me I was the strangest bride-to-be he'd ever known.

"Alice wasn't nearly this weepy." I hit him on the arm for that, albeit without my normal strength.

We lay in silence for a few minutes more. I let James' words wash over me, let them sink in. _Bloody hell, he does love me. More than anything – enough to go through with marriage. _I twisted in his arms and kissed James soundly. He parted my mouth and rose to his elbows before swinging himself over me. We kissed, sweetly and slowly, for a long time.

Eventually, I pulled away, reminding James that I'd asked for one sex-less night before my marriage. James groaned but pulled away, cradling me again. I sighed and felt my eyelids sag; my mind settled down, the doubts and worries stowing themselves away for the night.

"James, I love you."

"Enough to marry me?"

"Yes, James."

"Good. I love you, Lils."

"Enough to show up at the altar?"

"Of course, love."

I hummed my approval and settled into that spot of James' chest that was made for my head. I fell asleep, contentedly dreaming of the rest of Mr. and Mrs. Potter's lives.

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><p><strong>AN: Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed. Reviews are the reason I write, so please drop me a line or two about my writing. But seriously, thank you. **


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